Domestic Love by Bo-Edward Lawrence

Domestic Love

How does it feel to be loved?

How does it feel to be loved by someone that loves without pain so silently engraved with it?

How does it feel to embrace a man and have his hands all over me and leave red love marks that don't show purple or blue. 

I once loved she mutters.

I once felt wanted

I want to be the girl you like, no! 

Not like Beyoncé !

I want to be the girl you love to the point you change your ways ! 

You surprise me like pop rocks I can't take the pain! You pop at your mouth until you pop mine until blood flows out.

We are in a hurtful marriage that has no white gowns and tuxitos 

Just me and you at the alter with boxing gloves but there is never a ring 💎

That night you stumbled in drunk 

I can smell the whiskey it never missed me I feel the pain before you even raise your fist to hit me!

You kill me emotionally! 

My eyes that swell like oversized acorns can heal!

My bruised legs that hurt when i walk can heal! 

My arms from holding you up all night will heal

But my heart and mind can never heal nor forget! 

I am broken

How do you heal bruises you cannot see? 

I use to use make up to be beautiful ! 

Now with these purple smudges I use make up to feel normal.

I try to see the good in him but the eye liner won't line up to the reality. 

I pat my face over and over and over to try to get grounded or some type of foundation 

I'm uneven to the point where I can't Contour these feelings 

I feel lonely

Everyday of the week that I breath

How do I move on

I left him but I feel like the puzzle pieces of my life are broken 

How do I move on

I see hatred gleaming in his golden eyes I seen them when I stare at the sunset no matter how much years ago it may be

How do I move on

When I take pictures 

I try to smile but I can't seem to feel happy and beautiful how do I move on

How do I move on 

I said how do I move on

In the desert of the heart tears do not touch the ground. 

in the winter of my heart my tears freeze against your fist

let me move on

-Domestic Violence is real, and affects many couples all around the world. STOP this cycle and don’t be afraid to speak out for the sake of yourself and your family.

-Bo-Edward Lawrence

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Dial Tone By Bo-Edward Lawrence

Dial tone 

All I can hear when I call your phone. 

The echoes sound like distant moans.

The ring sounds like wounded angels trying to sing.

Pitch black shadows lean as the light of my screen breathes on my skin 

My fingers ache from pressing call with no answer at all 

Voices I hear in the distance linger in my mind like schizophrenic thoughts 

Your voicemail I memorized after hearing it a thousand times . . 

Goosebumps fills my valley like skin.

I tremble although in the sheets. 

I feel cold although alone ❄️

Swallowing ice I can see my breath take shape of frozen ghosts. 

I am cold yet alone accompanied by demons singing your dial tone. 

Yo. . 

Your. . 

Dial tone sounds like a broken song. 

A faulty note. 

A flawed symphony . 

I await to hear your voice on the other end of the lingering notes. 

But all i am ever left with. 

Is a never ending

Never changing

Dial tone. . 

-Bo-Edward Lawrence