My Suicide Note by Bo-Edward Lawrence

My Suicide Note

You know i never thought i would be alive long enough to write this poem.

Witnessing God in my dreams, talking to me

I didn't want to wake up. I was having a much better time asleep. 

As sad as that sounds.

It was almost like a reverse nightmare, 

usually when you wake up from a nightmare you're so relieved. 

I woke up into a nightmare.

I woke up to the sounds of my knuckles knocking on the devils gate. 

I am not his advocate..

God forgive me for my sins.

My angel wings have been burned off my aching skeleton 

The pain i feel is more traumatizing and genuine as if i was a war veteran

sleep is the cousin of death and suicide is its closest relative

This cold barrel to my dome, never made me afraid but for some reason i feel like I’m going home.

God, I’m coming home

They say every second, minute, and hour of the day you write your future, your story.

There were many times i wished i could tear out some of the pages, but instead i always feel like burning the entire book.

its all bad! 

The entire world is against me. 

Can someone. . 

Tell my mother that she is the kindest angel i have ever known

and my father, thank you for teaching me how to be a man.

Tell them I’m sorry that this life lesson doesn’t feel like a blessing but instead like a curse.

Tell the reporters that i was never into drugs or a criminal 

just make sure they don’t sell me to the world as a bad person.

I raise home to my head and put it next to my temple 

and i reflect . . . .

The easiest thing in life is to quit. The hardest thing in life is to live.

Just to know that all my pain, all my hurt can end with a pull of a trigger. . 

I want my death to be beautiful, i want my death to be meaningful. would it be considered beautiful if i scattered my brains on this windshield as my old thoughts create a Picasso.

I don’t want to be the man that nobody knows until he commits suicide, and then everyone had a class with him.

Sometimes home isn’t the answer, sometimes running away isn’t the right thing to do. 

I want to be known as the one who stared down the barrel of a gun and found enough beauty to look away. 

and live. . .

Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with someone else. 

Silly Boy by Bo-Edward Lawrence

When you smile

It's ever so Divine

Your smile brings light,
like all the stage lights focused on you tonight!

When you speak

to me and the melody plays

Singing songs of beauty and love

Like doves filled with happiness when release from their cage.

I know!

Angels have gifted me with a sight of wonders

That is granted maybe once every decade.

But I see you sitting,

Staring,

Legs folded hands lying on your thighs so gracefully

And I wonder do you see me,

Or do you see that boy you always call silly.

Or maybe I'm not silly and you smile in ways you cannot explain so you say

Silly boy to broaden the days and temptations of giving your emotions away.

But I'm uplifted by you

Passion lies beneath your finger tips

Beauty lies beneath your skin

And love lies beneath your face

Silly girl because I lie beneath your grace

 

 Be friendly to everyone. Those who deserve it the least need it the most. 

 

I Am by Bo-Edward Lawrence

I am different, 

from everybody else.
I see the things that your glistening eyes cannot imagine.
I with stand pain as to swords clashing and spears piercing my heart, and vacuums breaching my ribs to suck my life away, or my legs getting so weak were I can't seem to walk anymore
But you.
Your mind simply defines that as heartbreak.
Sometimes these visions that become trapped In My mind makes me flabbergasted.
Seeing a girl with a nice round personality.. makes me infatuated
See your heart telling you one thing
While your mind tells you another, making your decisions dumb and not so sharp but My heart and mind work together never apart I guess I'm just love smart
They say love can't be defined
I guess this is why I'm a poet to one day define love
Explaining the wonders of gods gift that feeble minds can not understand.
  Unfortunately I can't define myself
Defining me Is like defining why Adam and Eve fell victim to the apple, or why Romeo and Juliet loved so much to the point they would have died for each other, or why god made earthquakes and hail, or why each and every human suffers from unexplained  betrayal, slaves to our emotions
Trapped by our faith.
But I know
When this earth turns into dust and sand
When I can define love and life
I know I can define who I am
I know then I will become a man

Kiss Me by Bo-Edward Lawrence

Kiss me and you shall see stars, love me and I'll give them to you. 

Even with all the money and cars.

 I will give all that up, but you I can’t lose.

 As I gaze past the clouds and into the night sky I know I am destined to be with you.

 If you fall, I will catch you my shooting star' 

- Bo-Edward Lawrence 

I Want Too By Bo-Edward Lawrence

Most Popular Love Poem By Bo-Edward Lawrence

Smiling..  something I always see you doing
Even when you are most uncomfortable
Something so beautiful and breathtaking
A smile so pure like your face was shaped with only the richest and most graced of gods clay
I want to be able to envision our future as masters of time and gods of romance because we are wise enough to speak revelations of humans emotions.

I want to be able to sit upon the tallest ice covered mountain sipping hot chocolate while eating some cotton candy with you
I want to be able stuff ice cream down my throat, nearly passing out from depression and lack of love.
Then feeling your hands engulf mine once again
Warming my deathly hollowed heart to pump once more
I want to be able to carry you across the universe and back, to show you what this world has clouded from you
I want to be able to leave my finger prints on your heart forever as if god open her chest, spread her ribs and let me in
But it's hard for you isn't it
To know It's bad manners to say 'I love you', with a mouth full of lies...
But yet you continue.... so complacent in that freakum dress the devil tricked you in receiving as a gift
But yet I love you.
Smiling as joyful as a newborn baby playing with her teenage mother
Speechless.. Is what you make millions of men who walk by you seeing you’re perfectly shaped lips with a body of queen
Saddened.. By the men who only want you for your brains and... Use you for your beauty... Arrogantly misleading your love into that gaseous black space of loneliness.

Love pumped out of your heart and packaged away like a chocolate factory. Sweet on the outside but a slave ship on the inside
There's only so much, . Make up can cover up
I want to be able to change your thoughts to passionate dream
Sweetheart Sex isn't the only pleasures to life Nothing is more beautiful than real true love.
And nothing is more gorgeous than someone being themselves. Because you’re the original.
And all those hypocrite friends of yours can only be copies. And they will always be copies because they have to always consult the blueprint
I just want you to. Know
your beautiful
you may not feel like you’re the brightest crayon in the box...but you'll always be my favorite color.
By Bo-Edward Lawrence